When a father of mixed-race children revealed that he took a paternity test behind his wife’s back because one of their kids “doesn’t look half-white,” it infuriated many.
The man, 29, who wishes to remain anonymous, posted on Reddit that he didn’t think his son was his because the 30-year-old black wife was lighter-skinned than the 29-year-old.
He clarified that his son’s lack of resemblance to him prevented him from bonding with him, which led to suspicions and the eventual need for a covert paternity test.
In a discussion headed “Am I the A**hole?”, the unnamed father asked whether having a paternity test and keeping it a secret from his wife put him in the wrong.
After disclosing that he took a paternity test behind his wife’s back because one of their children “doesn’t look half-white,” a father of mixed-race children has incited ferocious criticism.
The dad, 29, went on Reddit to express his doubts about his son’s identity, citing his ‘noticeably darker’ complexion than that of his wife, 30, who is black.
I’m a Caucasian male 29 years old, according to the post. Thirty-year-old Black wife here. Our two children are five years old and a three-year-old female.
Our son was born to my wife at an early stage of our marriage. We had hardly gotten along for a year. She became pregnant, which is why we got married. Luckily for us, we’re content right now.
“I embraced my son as my own when he was born.” But I couldn’t help but notice how little he resembled me.
“He has a much darker complexion than my wife.” His appearance is not half-white. People close to me have inquired about my certainty that he is mine. Even though I had my misgivings, I chose to trust my wife at first. Nevertheless, I cherished my son.
The couple welcomed a daughter into the world two years after their son was born.
The dad was drawn to their daughter immediately after she was born because she resembled him.
He had no concerns about her from the moment she was born, but it made him start to feel bitter against his son.
“My wife gave birth to our daughter when our son was two,” he said. She was definitely mine.
He said that because his son didn’t look like him, he was unable to form a bond with him and as a result, he had doubts and eventually had a covert paternity test (stock image).
She even has my blue eyes, so she resembles me exactly. I had no idea how strong it is to know you are a parent.
Because we weren’t dealing with the weight of paternity issues, I was able to connect with her more easily.
My family also grew closer to her more quickly. Her similarity to me made me realize that my son is not really mine.
The man claimed that he didn’t want to raise “someone else’s child,” and he became increasingly irate since he believed his wife had “betrayed” him.
He claimed that although he had always attempted to treat his daughter and son as “equals,” he was unable to do so.
“I realized I was beginning to resent my son,” the man continued. The fact that I had to look after someone else’s child seemed unfair. I also started to feel angry with my wife since I thought she had deceived me.
To calm his fears, he subsequently made the decision to obtain a paternity test.But he made the decision not to notify his wife.
His relationship with his son and his wife both improved after he realized his son was, in fact, his.
I eventually had a covert paternity test. Finding out that my son is, in fact, mine brought me relief. Genetics is strange.
That was four months ago, and since then, my wife and son and I have a much better relationship. Now that I am aware that he is mine, I feel much closer to him. We were contemplating about having a third child because my wife and I had been so pleased.
“I admitted to my wife that I had taken a paternity test,” he stated. Since he doesn’t resemble me at all, I believed she would understand that I detested keeping the secret.
But when his wife found out what he had done behind her back, she had the exact opposite reaction and became furious.
She lost it. When I told her that I had never doubted our daughter, she accused me of being racist. It is untrue. My kid has whiter features, but that didn’t make me like her—I just knew she was my.
She added, “For all those years, I made our son feel unloved for no reason.” That’s bullshit, I said. I treated my son as though he were mine even though I didn’t think he was,” he continued.
According to the 29-year-old male, his wife is now threatening to take the kids and go.
“I’ve been on the sofa for about a week and a half,” he continued. By now, I thought she would have calmed down, but nothing has.
She is incredibly enraged with me for not believing in her and for, in her opinion, rejecting my son on the basis of his race.She hardly speaks to me other than when it concerns the kids. I wish to keep my family close to me.
But when his wife found out what he had done behind her back, she had the exact opposite reaction and became furious.
He asked whether he was a “a**hole” at the end of his article, saying that his wife was “overreacting” and that he didn’t know why his “doubts” were “wrecking his marriage.”
The father received harsh criticism for his actions and outrage from users on the social media site once he revealed his guilt.
An individual said, “You’re the a**hole.” She isn’t exaggerating at all. Not only did you not trust your wife, but you also allowed your ignorance to prevent you from developing a close relationship with your child.
“Well, what were your expectations going into having mixed-race children?” Not every time is it the ideal blend of both parents’ mocha.
“You might get that; you might get a child who is as dark as Wesley Snipes or as white as a vampire.” You truly must accept responsibility for your actions, ask for forgiveness, and change your foolish mindset.
“You will be needed by your son.” It’s difficult to be a black man in this world.
“He even claims his family didn’t bond with him as much as his lighter daughter,” another person wrote. It seems that racism runs in the family. The poor child is deserving of better.
“Those poor kids and that poor wife,” a person commented. What a horror it would be to marry, trust someone, have children, and then learn later on that they are racist.
And that their family’s relationship with the darker child wasn’t as strong? My skin is crawling, ugh. I’m not sure what the wife will ultimately decide, but if she decides to stay with him, he will need to go above and above to establish his humanity, especially if his son grows up and learns about all of this.
The father’s confession infuriated many on the social media site, who also harshly criticized him for his actions.
I want to know why he was so certain that the lighter child was his when she might have easily been the result of an affair—especially with a white man—said one person.
“I have a feeling that the soon-to-be ex-wife of the OP won’t be dating white men anytime soon, though.”
He said, “No one bonded with him, but he also treated his kids the same way.”
“Not only is he the a**hole, racist, and selfish, but he is stupid as well,” remarked a different user.
Other than alleviate his own guilt, what specific goal did he want to achieve by telling his wife that he had gotten a DNA test results?
“Anyone with a functioning brain cell would know that it would not be well received to inform your wife that you believe she cheated on you and that you have been suspecting for some time that your child is not yours because you’re a racist idiot.”
Another person stated, “Those early years are so crucial in a child’s development, and OP openly admits to resenting this kid for years. Plus, this poor kid has to watch his dad interact with his daughter in a more positive way because she has light skin.” I’m very sorry for the wife and son; it’s just really awful.
You are a complete jerk. I can assure you that your son observed and internalized your treatment of him. Some said, “Kids just know these things.”
Another said, “Please take an HS level biology course. You married a black woman and for some reason got confused one of your children ended up black.”
